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Underwood described the journey to fatherhood as a “rollercoaster of emotions” and expressed his excitement to embrace parenthood.

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I laughed along with everyone else when two players, one Black and one white, pretended to make out in the middle of the locker room. 

By the time I got to college, I was more comfortable with the homophobic/homoerotic matrix, mostly because there was no choice.

After an offseason workout, a teammate looked me up and down and told me I’d gotten buff. I’m pretty sure I blushed.”

I had to accept standing in line, waiting a turn with 60 other big, smelly guys, naked save for a half-sized towel wrapped around the waist. If, as Alfred Kinsey famously declared, one in 10 men are gay, odds are there are more than a few gays among the 1,600 men who play in the National Football League, the 8,100 students on college teams and the 1.2 million boys who suit up in high school.

We held hands in the huddle. That same year, he starred in his Netflix series, Coming Out Colton. I had a secret crush on one of the defensive lineman; a receiver and I still call each other ‘Betty,’ for some reason. To Mom and Dad — who were born during the Great Depression under Jim Crow — my impending queerness was obvious. I’m still working on it — still developing.

I just hope there are players, coaches, teams and parents out there that are doing the same.

Joseph Williams

Joseph Williams is The Reckoning’s Race & Health Editor.

Perkins’ coming-out story made a splash, but his modest college career didn’t translate into a place on a pro roster. He recalled feeling unlike the other boys as early as six years old but didn’t fully understand his attraction to men until high school. My mother and my late father wanted to protect me from a country that was unkind to Black boys, and cruel to Black boys who acted gay.

gay locker room

It was a key moment in our loving but complicated relationship. 

Sometimes, though, I wonder what my life would look like if I weren’t “toughened up,” like they wanted: if I learned it was OK to be sensitive, enjoy styling someone’s hair and play with girls — or boys — if I wanted. 

I wish I could say I’ve rid myself of all I learned in the homophobic/homoerotic football matrix; some of the crusty, outdated lessons I learned die hard.

I had a secret crush on one of the defensive lineman; a receiver and I still call each other “Betty,” for some reason. He started at Illinois State and was later signed by the San Diego Chargers as an undrafted free agent. It was an everyday thing, after practice and after games. He lives and works in metro Washington, D.C.

Colton Underwood recently opened up about his journey to accepting his sexuality, sharing personal stories from his time in the locker room to his experiences as a virgin on The Bachelor.

https://www.instagram.com/p/C4qZow3xUzY/?img_index=1

During his appearance on Alexandra Cooper’s popular podcast, Call Her Daddy, Underwood discussed when he first realized he was different.

That includes the powerful, anti-gay norms and celebrated, hyper-macho ethos I learned back in the day.

My socialization in football culture started early.

Surviving the Homophobic/Homoerotic Matrix of Locker Room Culture  

On the Vandenberg 12-and-under team, our tough-guy coaches had an easy way to make sure we hustled, paid attention and kept the whining to a minimum.

Sexual attraction to another man is taboo.

Throw in some Black masculinity stereotypes — brute strength, natural machismo, hypersexual — and the picture is more complicated, especially for a shy, chubby bookish kid with glasses who sometimes played with girls.