How to tell if a guy is gay

My longtime friend and colleague Dr. Joe Kort has been treating and writing about gender and sexual orientation issues for nearly three decades.

Or try to “fix” it by dating women, isolating themselves, or becoming emotionally unavailable to everyone.

This doesn’t make them deceptive. Sexuality isn’t something you can always see.

Even behavior in relationships isn’t a clear indicator. Some gay men act in a more stereotypically feminine fashion, which is likely what’s being picked up by “gaydar.” Meanwhile, others act in a very masculine manner, and this may be why gaydar works at greater-than-chance levels but is far from perfect.

If the husband is honest with both you and with himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay), that is when you can truly know that he is gay. So anal sex isn’t about sexual orientation.

Do the men in these relationships usually want to stay together?

Yes. Sometimes just a gut feeling you can’t explain.

It makes them scared. And then they ask me if this makes them gay. The responses were 1 for gay, 2 for bisexual, and 3 for straight.

The third scale also had the respondents rate perceived sexual orientation, but this time on a 9-point scale where 1 indicated “attracted to men,” 5 indicated “attracted to men and women equally,” and 9 indicated “exclusively attracted to men.” Although the general public tends to think of sexual orientation categorically, some research suggests that it exists on a continuum instead.

Here’s what you actually need to consider.

Step One: Ask Yourself Why You Want to Know

This is the most important starting point. In might depend on how bi he really is. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the point where they’re willing to seek counseling from me, an openly gay therapist. Contrary to the hypothesis, however, they were unable to identify bisexual men.

Surprising Results

Although the researchers failed to find support for their hypothesis, two interesting results did emerge from the study:

• Bisexual men were considered the most exclusively female-attracted. Despite previous studies suggesting that bisexual men ranged somewhere between straight and gay on various measures of masculinity and femininity, the respondents in this study judged bisexual men to be more attracted to women than even straight men.
• Bisexual men were judged as sounding the most masculine. Quite to the surprise of the researchers, the respondents said that bisexual men sounded more masculine than even straight men.

The researchers speculated on the possible reasons for these findings.

Or overcompensate. It’s not about rejection. And does that differ depending on the man’s true sexual orientation?

It does differ. Don’t over-celebrate or dramatize. Usually, when the man understands this he can then stop the behavior, even though the desire doesn’t go away. In other words, people can be bisexual to various degrees.

The results confirmed previous studies in that these participants were also able to distinguish between gay and straight men at levels greater than chance.