Straight guy with gay guy

[i] J.L.

King, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men (New York: Harmony Books, 2005).

[ii] Karolynn Siegel, Eric W. Schrimshaw, Helen-Maria Lekas, and Jeffrey T. Parsons, “Sexual Behaviors of Non-gay Identified Non-disclosing Men Who Have Sex with Men and Women,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 37, no. We propose gay-straight male friendships are not only possible, but that they can grow to be extremely rewarding.

These factors influence how men navigate same-sex experiences while maintaining a primarily heterosexual identity.

Curiosity and Exploration: For many men, engaging in same-sex experiences stems from a place of curiosity rather than a shift in sexual identity. Retrospective recall of sexual orientation identity development among gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults.

Same-sex sexual activity did not necessitate a reconsideration of sexual identity for four reasons:

1. The activity was infrequent
2. Sex was seen as recreation or sport; males engaged in same-sex sexual activity for the sake of physical activity or stress relief
3. Sex as an economic necessity; almost half of the participants engaged in sex with other men for money, and the majority of those reporting this were substance users
4. Sex as an accident; participants stated the sexual activity was not their fault or beyond their personal control, such as inebriation or the unplanned outcome of an argument with a wife or female romantic partner

Also, while engaging in the sexual behavior, the subjects avoided kissing, hugging, talking to the other male (or even looking at him), and leaving immediately following sex.[iv]

Similar findings were found throughout a series of interviews with non-gay identified MSM prepared for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2004.

Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much in common with gay men.

Calzo, J. P., Antonucci, T. C., Mays, V. M., & Cochran, S. D. (2011).

A Unique Bond

So far, it may seem as though bromosexual friendships are just a means to expanding one’s dating pool and success, but there is much more to the benefits described by those involved in such friendships.

Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 22(2), 277-287. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men in any meaningful way and, for this reason, may not try to initiate a friendship.

Of course, the traditional notion that gay men and straight men cannot be close friends is inherently homophobic and untrue.

5 (2008).

[iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prestage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activity/non Gay Attachment Research Targeting Strategies Identification Project." (Sydney: National Centre in HIV Epidemiology and Clinical Research ,1994).

[iv] Cathy J. Reback and Sherry Larkins, “Maintaining a Heterosexual Identity: Sexual Meanings Among a Sample of Heterosexually Identified Men Who Have Sex with Men,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 39, no.

These occasional same-sex encounters may be driven by curiosity, emotional connection, or context, but he continues to see himself as primarily attracted to women. 

Heteroflexibility vs.

But there have also always been roadblocks to their formation. In this way, same-sex encounters can occur without altering the core identity of men who continue to identify as straight.

Socialization and Masculinity: Masculinity and American societal expectations play a significant role in how men approach and interpret their sexual identity.

So rather than focusing on the factors that prevent these friendships, we’ve decided to focus on why they might form and flourish.

While it’s still too early for our team to be sure about our theories, here’s what we’ll be exploring in our current and future studies.

New foundations for friendship

In some ways, when it comes to “bromosexual” friendships, the onus is on straight men.

Gay men – particularly those in conservative and rural environments – remain wary about trying to befriend straight men, fearing prejudice-fueled rejection. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-94479-9

Diversity of sexual orientation. These norms can create pressure to conform to traditional gender roles, which typically exclude the possibility of same-sex sexual desire or behavior.

It is an internal understanding of who they are attracted to and how they choose to label themselves. Along with his supervisor, Robb Travers, he launched a study that surveyed 350 straight men and 275 gay or bisexual men from across North America. This fluidity allows for a more personalized understanding of sexuality, where people are free to explore without feeling confined to a single label.

Defining heteroflexibility

The defining feature of heteroflexibility is that a person may typically identify as heterosexual but they remain open to exploring same-sex experiences without feeling that these experiences identify them as bisexual or gay men.

Unlock the full potential to thrive as a man and a sexual partner.